Brendan Liturgy Part VIII

Brendan and his friends find those who understand; food is provided, and needful encouragement to trust God.

The workbook pulls from Part VIII the concept of “Living Simply”. To say that this has been a dominant thought of mine for years is an understatement. If one had a mind to slog through the copious amounts of mind drool, one would find earlier in this blog (Spring and Summer of 2010 mostly) extensive writing, angst and frankly, frustration from the author regarding pulling together multiple, fragmented “pieces of a puzzle” which seemed to represent independent prompts or impluses from God which had no realistic combined expression. This excerpt from July 6th 2010 expresses a “breakthrough” when 7 different “impulses” formed together into 3:

I have already written extensively about this. It’s not a dichotomy…it’s a septchotomy. Actually, I could really combine a couple of them for the sake of conversation:

Celtic style + Contemplative + Intentional Community + Simplicity = New Monasticism.

MBE + Social Action = AC3 Community Center

My Dad’s House

…THERE. That’s three. So the question will remain: How does a New Monastic and AC3 Community Center fit? Maybe they don’t. My dad’s house still stands alone.

(MBE stands for Mission Based Entrepeneur…or as we call it at AC3: Business as Mission)

In the 3 years since that post, things have simplified even more. Circumstances carried me along to the sale of my father’s house. This directly lead to 2 significant outcomes:

1) a life changing trip to the U.K. including a visit to Nether Springs – see pictures on home page of this blog – and

2) the purchase of a 30 year, fixed-rate mortgage of our home, thereby “saving” it from an impending disaster (we had one of those awful, variable-rate mortgages that was destined to sink us if we didn’t get a new one.)

So, from 7 unconnected “puzzle pieces” down to 3. Then, that third piece really disappearing, or more accurately, being absorbed into the other two. The trip to England solidified my relationship with the Northumbria Community (see puzzle piece 1 “New Monasticism”) the mortgage solidified our place in Marysville..(see puzzle piece 2 “AC3 Community Center)

In other words…all that work to sort through the pieces has resulted in them forming up together into something relatively simple: God is calling me to live out the Rule right here in my town.

Simplicity.

The mechanisms of this “consolidation” appeared long before I was aware a consolidation was under way . For example,  my impulse to begin raising food at home again, the arrival of permaculture in my thinking, simple living (less stuff and activity),  – all point to steady, community centered, slow-paced, contemplative living. The Monastic.

The purchase of the coffee stand, reconciliation with the Tribe, the network of relationships within the broader community, arrival of key leaders at the Community Center, local economics, continued opportunities in the arts, and more – all point to an outward focused, compassion and arts based endeavor which will be self-sustaining. The Community Center.

I believe that simplicity “demands” that even these two coalesce into a whole. If God has been faithful to take 7 unconnected pieces and boil them down into two coherent pieces…I have little doubt that he is capable of bringing those resulting two together.

I do, however,  doubt my own capacity for patience and vision. I doubt my own work ethic. It’s almost like these two parts of me which I question are emblematic of the two different remaining pieces.

The Monastic requires a man to say “no” to activity and stuff. To be content in the moment, and free from the anxiety of “achievement”.

The Community Center requires a man to say “yes” to long hours, single-minded vision casting, example setting and high levels of innovative activity.

2 is certainly “more simple” than 7. But when the two appear to be in opposition to one another, a new kind of complexity emerges….

A reconciling may lie somewhere amongst these thoughts from Joshua Searle of the Northumbria Community:

“Steve Chalke, a leading figure in contemporary Christianity in Britain, has compared what he calls the “attractional model” and the “incarnational model” of discipleship in the context of British churches. Whereas the former expresses an attitude of “Come to us. You know where we are”, the latter emphasises the importance of the church’s involvement in the surrounding culture as a means toward an embodied witness to Christ. Chalke argues that the mission of the church in the twenty-first century should be both incarnational and attractional.

The Northumbria Community may perhaps offer an example of how these two approaches can be contextually embodied through a commitment to living as “Church without walls” and by living out the common hope in which all Community Companions participate. Such an approach is both “incarnational” and “attractional.” Nevertheless, with its emphasis on “covenant”, the community represents an advance on the “incarnational” and the “attractional” prototypes by offering a distinct third perspective which draws on the strengths of both. The Rule of Life is thus an expression of the covenant commitment that each companion makes to one another and to God. This covenant has an important bearing not only on the intrinsic life of the Community but also on the Community’s witness and missionary engagement. As well as the shared Rule, the covenant is also based upon “a common vision to see the kingdom of God extended in Northumbria… and to carry the torch of the Gospel wherever the Father leads.” This common vision serves as a focus for the Community practices in which all Companions participate.”

Hmmm. I will see about contacting Joshua to ask some questions…

In other news: I finally heard back from somone at the Tulalip Tribes…hope dawned for a meeting! Then the day of the tenative meeting came and went…it’s gone silent again. Will keep trying….

Brendan Liturgy Part VII

“I need not live with regrets if the Lord made me free. Am I like Judas, or can I let God comfort me?”

It’s been 6 weeks. Stuck here at Part VII and unable to spend significant time with it anyway in the midst of a very busy season: Welcoming Ceremony (I became a Companion of the Northumbria Community), preaching, house guests, rehearsals and a gig, garden exploding with abundance, topped off by my daughter announcing her engagement!

It’s been quite a Summer. In the midst of all this activity, all this MOSTLY positivity, it’s been hard to focus my brain on concepts like regret, remorse and repentance. But in the last week, I’ve been drawn into something by the season occurring outside. The wonder of connecting to the seasons is that you begin to resonate with The Creation in ways you may not have anticipated.

What I mean is, here in the Great Pacific Northwest, Summer tends to come a little later than other places, but it lingers a little longer too. Then, this year, Summer came on time and she was dressed for the occasion: higher temps, drier days, abundance of sunshine, only short spells of dreary overcast or rain. It’s been splendid. Only…Summer has a lifespan and I’ve felt her tiring-out this week. It’s only mid-August, but since she showed up and started parting so “early” this year, it feels as if she’s tuckering out “early” too.

Summer is tired. The shadows are already drawn longer an deeper. The “snap” of cooler mornings is beginning to dull just a little into an “ache”. There’s a yellow tinge to the Alder leaves, the impossibly deep greens of the Cedars are now foggy. Only one lone bird joins me in song for Morning Office instead of the chorus of birds in June. The fall crops diligently push through the soil…but they do not BURST as they did in May…

And so my thoughts more easily turned to the ideas of Remorse, Regret and Repentance. These are the three words upon which Part VII balance like a tripod. Brendan and his companions “see” Judas Iscariot clinging to a lonely, wave swept rock, imprisoned (it would seem) eternally by his own choices. But the choice which holds him in this misery is not first his betrayal. He is trapped in the choice of releasing his grip on his own Regret, Remorse and shame (which would mean falling into the sea and drowning in his mind) and the impossible task of scaling this rock of self-justification.

He can’t justify. If there was ever a sin which was laid bare before the universe, it would be his. The Bible seems to indicate it was mysteriously pre-destined! In other words…we all know what happened. Everyone saw it. There’s no amount of “spin” that can make it less than what it was: the betrayal of the only innocent man, ever.

He can’t bring himself to let go. To say it like it is, open himself to the truth of what he has done and allow God to deal with it. It’s just too much to say out loud, “I am a coward and a control freak, and I made the most enormous mistake imaginable…” its so much easier to justify, explain, spin and obviscate; and if that becomes impossible because the facts are so completely inescapable, it’s still better to just descend into deep remorse, self-loathing and shame: “I deserve to be punished…I’ve always been like this, there is no hope for Me…” In phrase, to give up on God’s redemptive possibilities, and just embrace the lie that we are doomed.

I think of the last years of my father’s life this way. There were many beautiful things about those years, but there was this too: He simply could not/would not look at his own (rather normal) selfish proclivities square in the face and deal with them. He was so put off by his own sinfulness, so ashamed, so angry about it…so hopeless. He really just surrendered to it. He chose to be an isolated, mildly grumpy man who who was constantly disappointed in himself, in the world and even in God, so it didn’t make sense to quit smoking, or make an effort to connect with his world in a positive way…he just let death find him and take him on death’s terms and not his own.

Repentance in the only way.

Remorse is a “feeling”. We can feel remorse simply because we got caught or because there are unpleasant consequences associated with our guilt. Regret is a “thought”. Its a simple agreement with the facts that something went wrong, “THAT happened, it was bad, and I wish it had not.” But Repentance is “action” aligned with reality and with hope:

Reality in as much as to repent, one must acknowledge there is something to repent OF. It can’t simply be 21st century, Western, feel-good-self-esteem-bologna…redefining what is bad to make it seem not so bad. Where I come from, we just call that bullshit.

At the same time, there must be hope. There must be a vision for where to go instead? There must be a preferable future to repent TO.

The difference between Judas and Peter is NOT the potency of their betrayal. In fact one could make a case that Peter’s was worse, in that he tried to cover up his own cowardice everywhere he went. At least Judas was “honest” about what he was doing. No…the difference was the choice each man made when confronted with the TRUTH: “you are a Betrayer.”

Peter let go of the rock of his own justifications and jumped instead into sea with only hope that God would do the right thing somehow.

John 21:7 “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.

I believe he was he was ready to die when he encountered Jesus that day. I  believe that he saw no difference between encountering God’s wrath on that shore and God’s redemption..he just wanted what God wanted and he jumped into the water and swam to it. He Repented and opened himself to the mystery of who God is and what God would do with him.

Judas…he “hung” upon the rock and would not let go of what he was convinced was true of God.

Oh, that I could spend one day…just a full 24 hours living out a Repentance economy perfectly…falling into the sea…