December 11th, 2008

Once again..it’s been a while…

From last Spring until now has been largely positive. I believe, in part, due to the attitude I adopted above. I don’t mean this to be an arrogant statement, and I don’t mean to rob anyone else of credit. In fact, I’m a little embarrassed to say it because all it really represents is me stepping up to a base-line, mature attitude.

Letting go of “the prize” has proven to be a good thing all around. I don’t think “love is dead” anymore, but I sure don’t recognize it as the love I’ve been striving for. I’ll take it, though.

I’m doing my level best to stay focused on a “Holy, Terrible, Internal Resolve” and Brenda, I hope, will choose to come along in that effort. But that is her choice.

My “resolve” orbits a few scraps of experience and knowledge which don’t as yet form any solid whole. They may never from a solid whole…I don’t know.

JESUS CHRIST and His Gospel is the nucleus. I am more convinced than I have ever been that this Gospel is the center of and source of all Truth.

MY IDENTITY has solid quality to it that it has never had before. I know who I am and I’m becoming increasingly comfortable with it.

MYSTISCM

SIMPLICTY

SILENCE

SOLITUDE

CREATIVITY

RELATIONSHIPS

If I had to force these things into a temporal expression of some kind, it would look like a monastery. I can think of no other word to better describe it. “Finding” the Northumbria Community last Spring (coincidence?) and blending this new monasticism with the co-housing concept has brought two large puzzle pieces together.

Good stuff. I feel alive.

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