May 27th – 28th, 2010

BIG PICTURE: Meh. That describes the weather and my feelings.


READ/RITE/REFLECT; MBE: Meh. The author continues to beat the familiar church-leadership- motivational-drum: “This was so hard, but have FAITH! Count the cost, persevere! Here’s a perfectly compact and well orbed illustration:

“You will experience hardship, people will say you can’t do it, but God is bigger than all that! I threw up every morning from the stress, I nearly ruined my family…don’t you DARE to do it like I did…But: (here’s  my FAAAAAAAVorite part of EVERY one of these f*cking books:)….In just 5 years we went from 60 people to over 1,000 people. Oh!.. But numbers don’t matter…”


I’ve had it with this kind of crap. And yet…like I wrote last week…my heart begins to pound when I think about what we could do in Marysville.

I’m hoping this book gets around to something HELPFUL soon, like how do you separate the “profit” part from the “non-profit”. I’m not a fawning seminary student who wants to dress just like the author…I’m closer to 50 than I am to 40 and I don’t have time for this sh*t!

BIG PICTURE: Brenda and I spent 90 minutes coaching a younger couple through a rough patch this morning. I left feeling REALLY good. I think it’s just conformation that “people work” is a natural part of my makeup.

I will walk down to the beach an find a rock called “Flat” for week 4.


READ/RITE/REFLECT; THE SILENCE OF THE HEART: Can’t bring myself to open it. O.k. Hold on…I’ll read ONE segment…

THAT was a mistake. Here’s a little sample: “Shame says ‘I am bad.’ This is not true and it can never be true…Every time you make a judgment of another human being, you are reinforcing your own shame.”

So my first question is: Isn’t that “bad”? I mean reinforcing one’s own shame?

Second question is: Where does evil come from? Not surprisingly (later on) he goes on to declare there is no evil (very predictable and easily refuted with one solid right cross or a kick to the groin). He also goes on to guide us to the god presence within; SHE will always be there ready to accept you. Once again, some truth wrapped up in man-made lies: a series of self-created propositions to maintain the SELF as the center of the universe, to literally place the throne of Heaven inside the self and by so doing, eliminate the “need” for a savior, ANYTHING to keep the Christ out of it in any meaningful way and keep self-esteem intact. Re-shape Him, re-define, analogize and metaphor Him, rob Him of his deity, His historicity, his Humanity…there are 100 different strategies, all focused on the same thing: Kill the Messiah again.

It won’t work. He already died.

I don’t need the cheap artificial grace that comes from creating a fictional mommy-god inside me that just winks at the evil that lives there  and renames it…”misunderstood”. I need a S-A-V-I-O-R ! I don’t know what Paul Ferrini has or hasn’t done in his life…but I know the evil that lurks in me. And no amount of “breathing” and “imagining love” has ever changed it.

1Timothy 1:15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

Well, I’m tired of what self-esteem has created in our world…ever since Genesis 3.

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