Tag Archives: Worship

March 26th, 2009

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The Discovery channel has “Shark Week”. There is actually a “Cholesterol Awareness Month” and a “Child Passenger Safety Week”. I have new one: March is Death Month. My brother died in March 1998, my mother died in March 2005, something died in me in March 2008 and now my father in 2009.

I’m not getting out of bed for the entire month of March 2010.

Death is a corrective. It plays the role of Law. It is not what we are made for, but it is a mercy in that it serves as a doorway FROM brokeness to potential wholeness. A necessary evil. Gollum.

Followers of Christ must not forget, however, that the crucifixion is not the end of the story. Death, our ugly, pitied, insane, little guide does not have the last word.

Easter is coming.

September (cont.)

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My selfishness appears to boundless. It may not truly be, but looking back on the Fall of ’06, I cannot see the edges of it. The basic currency of my existence is what others think of me. Even in the midst of disaster. Apparently, I would still be concerned with how my hair looks as the Titanic sinks beneath me. I am flabbergasted at the depths to which my need for approval sinks. Yet, at some point, this downward journey leads me to the place I should be:

O.k. God, how do you see me?

…no…how do you see me?

You have no eyes, and yet you conceived of color and focus.

Am I a pale blur?

Blind God who perceives all.

Do you touch my face with your fingerless touch while  I sleep?

HOW do you see me?

Ah…do you dream? Like a god in a wheelchair, do you run in your dreams?

Do you imagine me?

Are the hammered, Friday night philosophers right? Do I exist in your dreams alone?

Do you dream me?

Am I taller in your dreams?

Am I one of your nightmares?

Are you shouting me out of your mouth?

A new word?

Do you hear me, oh one without ears?

How do you know if I am harsh, or flat?

Am I an angry word? A groan? A giggle?

I need to know when you are pleased.

I don’t feel your pleasure when I do the “right thing”.

I don’t feel you seeing me when I work my hardest.

I feel you seeing me when I am still.

I am your dream when I surrender.

I hear you speak to me when I am quiet.